


There's No Fair in Farewell

by solarift



Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Could be anything, Hallucination - Mayyybeee, Harry and Lee friendship (beginnings of)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-03
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-04-29 18:11:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5137622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/solarift/pseuds/solarift
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eggsy is thrown into not only the past but also into his father’s body. He experiences things just before his father is recruited by Harry Hart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

** **

  
It all started when Eggsy woke up disoriented, finding himself dozing outside of some odd end cafe. Eggsy’d had no idea where he was- though by the looks of it, he was still in London at least- never mind why he wasn’t at HQ hassling a bunch of new recruits as Recruit Trainer, his penance for losing a bet with Merlin.

 _Never bet against Merlin again_ , he reminded himself severely as he dusted off his trousers, standing up and stretching out knots that shouldn’t even be in the places he’s pulling them loose from.

As he walked passed a shop window Eggsy froze before taking a few backwards steps and staring. Hard. His mouth dropped and he turned white as a sheet as he double-triple- _quadruple_ checked his reflection.

He- he has a _face_... He… a face he hasn’t seen in over two _decades_.

“D- _Dad…?_ ” Eggsy stutters, disbelieving, as he pokes, pulls and prods at the face that is still _very_ much attached to his own _nerve endings-!_ Ow. “What the... _fuck…?_ ”

While Eggsy mulled over the many explanations that could have possible gotten him into whatever the hell his current predicament was, he neglects to pay attention to not only his body’s movements but also to how much time has passed until he blinks and looks around his surroundings, confused.

The fuck? How on earth had he gotten so lost in thought that his feet were able to move without his knowledge and take him _here_ of all places...

 _Okay, okay, deep breaths, deep breaths_ , he thought panicked. _Alright, Unwin, compartmentalize this bullshit and break it down to the basics, you’ve been goddamned trained by that bastard Merlin and Harry bloody Hart, get your shit together!_ he thought fiercely, chastising himself. With his pride still up in arms over how his spy training had yet to kick, Eggsy reran what he remembered doing before waking up in the alley off a posh looking café.

And after that he, well... Eggsy’s right brow twitched angrily at how he could only find himself stupidly thinking, _My father’s face… is on MY face…!_

When he even _tried_ to think of the hows and whys his head started feeling heavy, foggy... almost as if something didn’t _want_ him to figure out what was going on... like some alien force was keeping him purposefully in the dark...

Heh, but that was ridiculous though wasn’t it? Completely barmy. Only a nutter would believe in stuff like aliens-

Something in his subconscious reminded Eggsy that he didn’t believe in spies before he met Harry Hart either.

Okay. If he lets himself block everything out- the sound of a car horn and the accompanying screech of tires; the ding of a service bell; the wailing cry of a small child somewhere...- then he could fall into himself and pick apart the pieces that he’d need in order to understand.

With his mind somewhat clearer, ideas and the likelihood of each flew past what Eggsy referred to as his “Optical Hemispheric Sensory Neuropathic Adaptive Process”, or O.H.S.N.A.P. for short.

Roxy had once told him that calling his “brain’s frontal lobe’s reasoning function something like that was not only ridiculous but Eggsy himself was _also_ ridiculous.” However, whenever she brought up how stupid OHSNAP was, Eggsy made sure to point out that practical application of OHSNAP during missions-gone-wrong countered her argument, the results showing his process was anything _but_ ridiculous.

To sum it up, however, and when it really came down to it, Eggsy really just liked the abbreviation OHSNAP and didn’t give a rat’s arse if it made sense or not.

With that self-affirmation Eggsy deliberated the possibilities of what the fuck was going on:

Head trauma? _Maybe._

High as a kite and hallucinating? _Eh, less possible than-_

Drunk fucked in the head? _Yeah, that’s more likely._

A bad dream? _Not quite..._

If none of those options that could only mean he’d... _somehow_ gotten himself transported back in time, with his mind somehow landing him smack dab into his father. Or at least his dad’s mind. God, he was in his father! Ugh, even just thinking that sounded wrong.

The revelation- however crazy it seemed- seemed to be the only explanation that made any kind of sense to him. And if that wasn’t fucked up enough, he seemed to come to awareness suddenly as he looked around where he was.

He was in front of their old home, the one that his mom and he once lived in when his dad was still alive, before Dean, before his lackeys, and way the fuck before Eggsy had ever known about Kingsman.

How the hell did he get here! Eggsy thought desperately. He’d been walking out of the alley one moment and the second he was across town, standing in front of the door to his old house.

Unfortunately, before he could have a proper freak out the body that wasn’t his- the thing still felt like he was wearing a suit one size too big!- started moving, Eggsy watching as his hand turned the door knob without his consent. He closed his eyes briefly just before he took a step into the apartment, almost fearing what he’d find on the other side.

Eggsy’s gaze moved across the small yet cozy living room, sights finally landing on... _himself?_

What the bloody... _hell_...

Eggsy stared at the sight in front of him, before shaking his head and rubbing at his eyes, trying anything he could to dispel the illusion in front of him.

Nope, still there.

 _Mini-_ him is sitting there on the rug in front of the telly, his tiny _mini-_ him’s face pressed up against the screen in rapt attention.

The spectacle had Eggsy rolling his eyes – _hard_ – before familiar words made their way out of his mouth. The body he was in shook his (their?) head fondly as he (they?) addressed the little boy before them.

“ _Oi_ , step back from that telly or I’ll turn ‘er off!” Eggsy barked in greeting, watching as his mini-him jumped up in shock before the little guy’s face split into a shit eating grin.

 _Christ..._ so he’d been a little hooligan even back when things in his family hadn’t been broken.

Before he knew it, the tiny body barreled into him at full speed, shaking with laughter as he clutched at Eggsy’s legs fiercely. Easily breaking the boy’s hold, Eggsy swung the child-him up into the air, remembering how happy he’d been when his father had done that every time he came home all those years ago.

The act of father and son bonding was interrupted the next moment when, without warning, Eggsy was pulled to the side, a quick kiss being planted on his cheek by someone considerably shorter than him.

Eggsy looked over and saw- _holy shit_ \- his mother, looking younger and happier, and staring up at him- rather, his father- adoringly. Eggsy’s mouth dropped open and he blinked repeatedly in a stupor.

“Thought you fell asleep again somewhere, Lee,” his mother teased. “Tha next time yer almost late for a wash up before an interview I’ll send our very own Constable Eggsy after you!”

“ _Yah!_ ” mini-him cheered from in between his parents.

Eggsy sputtered, blushing hard, as his mother moved some stray locks of (his father’s) hair back behind one of his ears. This was _so_ wrong!

His mother laughed at Eggsy’s- _his father’s_ \- strange behavior as she took mini-him out of his arms and told the boy to go play while mummy and daddy talked.

His mother turned around and put both hands on her hips. “Go on, you’ll be late for that interview if you don’t get a move on.” She pointed a very ‘ _no arguments, mister_ ’ finger toward what Eggsy remembered as his parents’ bedroom.

His parents’... _bedroom_...

Eggsy’s face went red at what he really hoped she wasn’t suggesting. Suggesting terrible, horrible things that a boy didn’t need to know about his parents, like- like the adults had to get in the bedroom and hurry with a... a... a _quicki_ \- Eww!

He surely made a sound of utmost distress.

“Christ, you’re barmy if ya were finkin’ _that_ were gonna happen while the baby’s awake,” his mother said dryly. “Now go shower and change. I set you out a nice suit for that fancy interview. Change into that when yer done. _Shoo!_ ”

With that his mother manhandled Eggsy (his _father_ ) into the bedroom, shoving him in and shutting the door with a pointed look. It took a few moments before Eggsy made sure to lock the door to the bedroom- he didn’t need no _funny_ business- and showered in something of a trance.

When he was done, he dried off, shaved and changed into the suit laid out for him before taking a breath and walking back out into the living area.

A high-pitched whistle cut through the air as Eggsy adjusted his (father’s) tie, blinking up at the sound owlishly.

“Lookin’ good, babe,” his mum grinned, grabbing a piece of paper from the counter. “Here’re the directions to yer interview. Remember ta sit up straight, smile- you’ve a _beautiful smile_ , love- and ta give lots of examples of things ya done in the military that would benefit them posh blokes and you’ll be fine!”

His mum kissed Eggsy’s cheek as she beckoned him- er, his younger self... little Eggsy?... _mini-him_ over to say goodbye to papa.

It was a surreal thing kneeling down and looking into his own eyes. Something flashed past his vision and he was suddenly smiling like he remembered his dad doing before he ruffled mini-him’s hair and told the boy to “take care of mum while I’m away, Eggs, there’s a good lad.”

With that Eggsy went on his way, walking in his father’s shoes (no pun intended, he’s _actually_ wearing his father’s _shoes_ right now!) to the address written in his mother’s loopy handwriting. What the fuck else was he supposed to do

After miles of walking and changing tubes Eggsy finally found himself crawling out of Piccadilly Circus Station off of Coventry Street. It felt like hours before he was less than five blocks from the station and standing across from Citizens Bank at 29 Warwick.

Eggsy looked down at the paper, squinting at his mother’s handwriting again. With a frustrated breath he finally deciphered her whirling letters. The position his father was applying for- it seemed- was for a weekday night shift security guard.

Eggsy’s brow pinched in thought. He couldn’t remember a time back when he was a little tike where his father had a job as a security guard...

Eggsy’s eyes narrowed as he entered the building, his (father’s) resolve grim even as he flashed a smile at the secretary. She laughed at something he didn’t pay attention to having said and directed him toward his interview room.

It’s as he’s entering the room that he suddenly felt lightheaded, almost like the wind had been knocked out of him, before it was like he was falling weightlessly backwards in space. It was... it was almost like- well- like he was being pushed into the back seat of a car and having no control of the steering wheel while someone else did.

It was an eerie fucking feeling as Eggsy found he was unable to do anything other than helplessly listen to the two interviewers before him ask questions, his (father’s) mouth moving to answer them without Eggsy allowing it to. **  
**

After a few more minutes of fighting with a non-responding muscle... entity... – _whatever!_ \- Eggsy finally gave up and instead did the only thing he found he was able to do; wait and watch as time flew by while the interview continued on rather unimpressively.

By the time the thing was over, Eggsy found himself once more at the reins of his father’s body. He shook hands with the two men that had interviewed him, exchanged farewells and walked out of Citizens Bank with a feeling of resignation and acceptance. Eggsy had seen the look in the interviewers’ eyes when they’d first heard his father’s cockney accent, a look that was a clear sign that his father hadn’t gotten the night guard job at the bank for one prejudiced reason or another.

“Posh wankers,” Eggsy muttered as he exited the building. On his way down the street he made sure to throw up a two-fingered salute as he debated over what to do now.

If he went home too soon his mom would get suspicious about how the interview went, not to mention if he told her he didn’t think he’d get it she’d just get disappointed at their situation. So he supposed wandering around a bit might not be such a bad idea.

For now he simply went with what his (father’s) legs were urging him to do; he walked. Eggsy lost himself to thought then, his body and apparently its muscle memory taking more control of his movements. What feels like miles of walking later (but really it’s just a few streets over) Eggsy finds himself on the corner of Savile Row.

Less than a second after he realizes what street he’s on Eggsy hears a loud and sudden yell from down the street. He squints over at the sight and sees a man running out of a familiar looking shop- _Is that Kingsman Tailors? Shit, it looks exactly the fucking same!_ \- Before he knows it the man running out of the shop takes a sharp left and veers in the direction Eggsy’s in.

“What the bloody he-” Eggsy starts before his eyes catch and widen on the other person shooting out of the shop after the man on the run.

The face is a few wrinkles short but there was no mistaking the cool and collected face of the gentleman giving chase.

“ _Harry...?_ ” Eggsy mumbles, brow creasing in confusion. Holy shit, twenty years and the man was still as fucking fit as the best wet dream.

The man Harry’s chasing suddenly stops, looking around wildly before he grabs a child away from her mother as they’re exiting a nearby shop. The guy pushes the child’s mother away, the woman letting out a shocked scream from the pavement. The man whirls around to brandish the girl in front of him, probably using her as not only a shield but also as a bargaining tool to stall his assailant.

Harry, in turn, comes to a complete halt as he takes in the situation at hand. While he’s unable to do much in front of the woman and child, Eggsy thinks he sees the cogs turning behind Harry’s eyes, the man solemn in stance as he slowly raises his hands in the air to pacify the perp holding a little girl hostage.

Eggsy gritted his teeth. _What a coward, using a little kid the way he was. Despicable. If this was happening in front of him, he’d smack the fucker right in the-_ But he couldn’t do much now. Not when he was in his father’s body, a body that didn’t have knowledge of Kingsman yet if the voice in the back of his mind was anything to go by. All Eggsy could do at the moment was watch helplessly it seemed.

Well, fine, he could do that. Eggsy wouldn’t approach the man lest he incite more fear and cause something worse to happen.

“Let the girl go, Viktor,” came Harry’s voice. The older, gentlemen spy surreptitiously surveyed the immediate area for potential hazards beyond the two civilians- three counting Eggsy from Harry’s point of view- involved in the situation.

The man, Viktor, Eggsy noticed, pulled something out of his coat then that made Harry instantly take a careful step back while the mother sobbed harder, hysterically pleading even more nonsensically.

“ _Shut up!_ ” the man yelled at the sobbing woman before he turned back to Harry to rebut. “Let _me_ go, and I’ll let the girl live, you crazy sonuvabitch!”

Eggsy’s eyes flicked to the reflection in the shop window and saw the object the man was holding threateningly against the little girl’s chest.

 _Not enough time_ or _enough room_ , Eggsy thought desperately. While Harry was extremely agile, Eggsy knew the older man wouldn’t be able to relieve his opponent of the weapon as well as remove the girl from harm’s way all while being the sole focus of the man’s attention.

Had Eggsy not had the extensive Kingsman training he’s had he would have missed the miniscule head nod Harry directed above and behind his head, a classic Harry thing to do when he’s signaling someone.

Eggsy flicked his gaze up and saw someone scaling the side of the building before slinking across the building directly beside the man Kingsman was apparently targeting.

Holy shit. _Is that seriously Percival?_ Eggsy gaped before registering how agitated the man holding the little kid was becoming with Harry’s blank stare.

 _No,_ _this is taking too long! Can’t they see the guy’s about to snap?_

That was when Eggsy decided to take matters into his own hands; if there was one thing he’d learned from all the missions he’d been on it was that times like this required decisive action, especially if an agent had the advantage like Eggsy did (even though no one knew he was an agent. In his father’s body. Back in time. God.

Eggsy began to walk with quick purpose and little sound as he came upon the perp from behind. Eggsy saw Harry’s eyes flick up to him, a hooded look of warning flashing across the older man’s face. Stealthy as Harry’s look was, the message was clear: _Stay away._

Eggsy almost rolled his eyes as he focused back on the task at hand. He came upon Viktor silently, positioning himself in such a way that made the maneuver (one he learned from Gareth) render the man motionless in record time, if only for long enough for the weapon to be removed.

Just before the man went to his knees was the moment when Harry snapped forward, expertly (if Eggsy said so himself) removing the weapon from the man’s grip and quickly pushing the girl toward her mother. Even while shielding the family from a passed out threat, Harry still commandingly told the small family to get away from the sidewalk and into the store.

Inside that small window of time Viktor regained consciousness, his extremities regaining feeling as his legs twitched before he staggered up to his feet again. Harry kept a careful eye on him, hand twitching to where his gun was beneath his suit jacket. Eggsy noticed the hesitation in Harry’s movements, knowing that the man wouldn’t risk exposing Kingsman unless absolutely unavoidable.

But as Harry prepared himself for an attack Viktor pivoted suddenly, his gaze instantly zeroing in on Eggsy as he vaulted in his direction.

In the year Eggsy had been an agent, he’d never second guessed his instincts before. At least up until this moment. He wasn’t sure whether it was his instincts mixing up with his father’s fight or flight response but Eggsy was rooted to the spot and as soon as he realized his legs weren’t going to move he looked up at the man coming toward him head on with no fear in his eyes.

Viktor twisted around Eggsy with a surprising amount of finesse, folding him into an awkward headlock. Eggsy coughed, trying to pull out of it without no luck.

 _Rule 34: Don’t underestimate your opponent, especially when you may have the upper hand. The tides can change at a moment’s notice; always be prepared_ , Eggsy growled at himself, berating his rookie mistake.

“You can’t just abduct me, man, I got rights!” Viktor yelled over at Harry who was slowly walking forward.

Eggsy could have rolled his eyes at that. Oh wait, never mind, he just did. “Seriously, bruv? H-” Eggsy stopped short. “He- _that man_ \- looks like he’ll hunt ya to the end of the earth.”

“I would,” Harry added as he crept even closer.

“See, bruv, just give it up already. This is getting embarrassin’ for ya.”

The man nudged something against Eggsy’s jugular. Okay, shit, that’s a knife.

“If you come any closer, I’ll-!”

“You’ll what, Viktor? Run to your mummy and tattle on me? You’re a goddamn adult, act like it and take your extremist affectations out on someone who will be able to fight back.”

Eggsy bit his tongue at that. Wouldn’t do to give away that he knew anything about Kingsman. Especially if he were to correct Harry that he could totally fight back. If he wasn’t rooted to the spot and in a headlock. Ugh, this was a novice response!

Eggsy considered just biting the man’s arm.

“It’s either the police or us, Viktor. And you know where the police will put you, don’t you? Prison. And other inmates don’t take kindly to child offenders.”

Face paling, Eggsy’s body tightened, something uncomfortable prickling the back of his neck. A cold fury and sickness washed over his torso.

Eggsy’s little sis flashed before his eyes. He took a breath as he looked over his shoulder at the man holding him. If he were to ever _do_ something like that to- If he would even _think_ of doing something like that to someone like Da-!!

Eggsy felt his blood boil as his vision turned something hotter than red.

Eggsy threw his head back, cracking against the man’s nose. When the grip around him loosened, Eggsy pushed backwards with his hips to make the man stumble, before pushing off and using that momentum to push forward. He dropped his weight and swung his leg around, planting a solid kick to one of Viktor’s shins. The man let out a pained yell before his center of balance stumbled.

The asshole fell to the ground, and as Eggsy stepped forward to deliver more punishment he was stopped by a firm hand on his shoulder. He looked back, glared hard and tried to shrug out of Harry’s grip.

“That’s enough. You’ve done well, but leave this to the proper authorities now.”

“You a cop or sumfin?” Eggsy sneered at Harry.

Harry shook his head as he slipped a pair of cuffs on the unconscious man on the ground. “Not quite.”

Eggsy (his father) snorted at that. “What, you some kinna spy then?” he snapped as he watched Harry haul Viktor up, shoving him over to Percival - _holy shit he was young looking_ – who pushed the man into the Kingsman issued cab.

Percival gave a short nod before climbing in himself, the cab driving off - presumably to make it look like Harry and Percival were something similar to police to any onlookers.

Eggsy jerked forward, hands in his pocket as he started to walk away from Harry in something of a huff. He didn’t look back, but he knew from experience that Harry was watching him (his father) closely.

Maybe this was when his dad would be recruited by Kingsman. As Eggsy walked home, he couldn’t help the smile lighting up his face. Not only did he get to be near his father again (maybe a little _too_ near but still), but he got a glimpse of what Harry was like when he was younger.

Now, if Eggsy could figure out how to get back to his own body in its own time that’d be great, kay thanks.

Hours later as he made his way up the steps to his family’s apartment a sudden feeling of lightheadedness caused Eggsy to sway, falling forward and leaning into the stairs to regain even a semblance of balance.

_Fuck, I know this feelin’- Who-_

Just before he fell into darkness he mumbled, “ _Ha- Har- ry..._ ”

 


	2. It comes at a cost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy as a dad, but... to himself?
> 
> A mind fuck? By Jove! I think so!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As the last update was Nov 2015... I'd go back and re-read before continuing with this chapter! :P

**Chapter 2: It comes at a cost**

“Da?” a small voice whined in his ear. “ _Da!_ ”

Eggsy grumbled out a string of unintelligible oaths, swatting lightheartedly at the tiny grabby hands prodding either side of his face impatiently.

“Da! Wake _up!_ You promised!” the familiar squawk pouted. The tiny hands began smooshing his cheeks together in an angry fit.

_What the fu-?_ Eggsy opened his eyes, blearily looking at the blob that soon morphed into a child before him as he wiped away the eye goobers. “Christ,” he whined himself, wincing. “Where the hell’re your parents, you little-”

Eyes now clear and adjusting to the light of day – _Oh god, it burns_ , Eggsy thought miserably – he found wide, angry green eyes staring back at him indignantly, and boy did that expression look unnervingly familiar...

Oh, right. This would be his kid- well, his _father’s_ kid- technically _him_ \- Oh, fuck it. The child standing before him was _mini-him_ , arms now crossed as he stomped his little mini-him feet in all a righteous blaze of toddler-fury.

Right, o’course. Because Eggsy was in bizarro world, living in his father’s body and apparently reliving... the past?

It was that or he was either very, very drunk or most likely dreaming...

“DA!”

And if so, it was a really terrible, _annoying_ dream-

“Da, Da, Daa!”

God, the semantics of this mind fuck hurt his head; Eggsy kneaded the soft skin in front of his ears.

“Daa,” mini-him’s voice suddenly – in a way that only a tiny sociopath under the age of ten would be able to do – warped into something more demonic the longer Eggsy utilized his selective hearing.

And eerily enough it seemed to snap Eggsy- well, his father- into a cold bout of gooseflesh as he finally stirred from whatever position he’d been sleeping in.

“D-!”

“Alrigh’ already!” he growled, indignant, groaning as he got up from the couch.

“Come on! I’ve got the ball! Lessgo!” mini-him hollered excitedly, words jumbling together as he raced down the cement stairs of the estate they lived in.

As he followed, Eggsy tried to gather his thoughts. Last he remembered he’d been heading back here from Savile Row... but then he’d just... what? Blacked out? Well, apparently, he’d woken up to his mini-self demanding his wakefulness to... well, he supposed judging by the toy in the boy’s hand, play ball.

World class trained spy, ladies and gentleman. That’s him.

“For fuck sake,” he grumbled as he came to stand in the grass, holding his hands out as mini-him tossed the ball over. Eggsy rolled it back with a bounce. The boy laughed and did a jump to catch the ball half an inch off the ground. He snorted at the boy’s- _his_ \- antics, a warm feeling enveloping his chest.

As Eggsy started playing ball in earnest with his mini-self he slowly came into awareness that he hadn’t quite realized just how closely Harry had been watching him- or rather, watching his father- after that incident outside the tailor’s shop. Had he, he might’ve not been as surprised as he was when he happened to glance behind his shoulder and noticed Harry Hart casually walking down the street toward Eggsy and mini-him at a rather sedate pace.

He glanced over at Mini-Him, tumbling around a little ways in front of Eggsy, trying to do crazy tricks. “Oi!” he called. He needed to get rid of... well, himself, if Harry was here for the conversation Eggsy thought he was here for. But how to get rid of- “Fetch!” Eggsy hollered out the first thing that came to mind, throwing the ball down the bank just passed a group of friends he’d had from back then.

Mini-Him took the bait and caterwauled down the hill after the ball. _Christ_ , Eggsy sighed, blowing a stray lock of hair out of his face. If that was enough to have gotten his attention back then he was fairly sure why it was the other kids always beat up on him so much back then. Hell, it was a wonder he’d never been kidnapped if he were being honest with himself.

Hmm, maybe if- _when_ \- he gets back to the land of sanity he’ll put Daisy in classes for self-defense and self-awareness... Yeah, that’d work.

Turning around to acknowledge the man that had now come to stand a polite distance away from him, Eggsy said, “What _you_ doin’ down Rowley Way, mister?”

Harry lifted a delicate brow. “A common, though erroneous name for this housing estate,” the spy corrected.

Eggsy rolled his father’s eyes. “Oh, pardon me manners, guv. Lemme rephrase: What kind of barmy tosser walks through Alexandra and Ainsworth _estate_ wearing an Italian cut suit that costs more than any one of us could make in a lifetime- _put_ together?”

Instead of pulling an affronted face like Eggsy was used to when teasing Harry, the man instead narrowed his eyes in concentration as he regarded Egg- _Lee_ with curious eyes. Oh, fuck, that was Harry’s _intrigued_ face. He didn’t accidentally give anything away about his knowing of Kingsman did he? _Shit, shit, shit,_ he mentally chastised himself.

“Very good eye; this is indeed an Italian cut,” Harry praised, patting imaginary lint off his breast. Eggsy knew Harry would never admit it but the gentleman spy was actually preening.

Eggsy raised what he vaguely recalled as his father’s sardonic brow. “Don’t get too excited there, it were just a guess.”

Harry only hummed as he looked around at the estate. People were peeking out their windows, marveling at what such a posh wanker was doing here and/or devising a plan of mugging the poor bastard (or both). After all, posh men like Harry couldn’t hold their own in a fight, much less in a mugging, right?

Eggsy snorted to himself, glaring up at his upstairs neighbors as if in warning.

“You’re not going to ask what it is I do?”

“We talkin’ about your taste in partners or-” Eggsy clamped his mouth shut. Shit.

But Harry’s face flickered with exasperation, so it seemed he didn’t catch- of course he wouldn’t- that Eggsy had started talking about spy partners, and instead had gotten the impression that he was suggesting Harry was into men.

“ _For a living_ , Mr. Unwin. My taste in a lifemate is hardly any concern of yours,” Harry interjected, that same wry look twinkling in his eyes. “And before your cheek becomes too much, no, I am not an ‘adult companion’ either.”

“‘course you aren’t, guv. That just sounds ridiculous. I was thinking more along the lines of ‘a daddy’, ain’t that what gets all them boys comin’ round,” Eggsy quipped, utterly beside himself as he noticed the barely there twitch at Harry’s temple. Okay, fine, he relented silently, he’d stop his teasing; he didn’t want to ruin his father’s –and in the future, his – chances at being a Kingsman.

At Harry’s expressionless stare, a look Eggsy hasn’t had the pleasure of wringing out of the man in his own time- in reality? Was this a dream? -, he holds his hands up in surrender. “Alright mate. What is it that you’re doing here, comin’ all the way over from posh Savile Row?”

Harry studied him- his father- for another moment. “Why did you help with Viktor?”

“Whos’its?”

“The man you helped me subdue.”

“Christ, ya didn’t come all the way here for _that_ , did ya?” Lee- _Eggsy_ \- sighed. “I helped you cause that’s the decent thing to do, innit? As for going gung-ho on his ass, well, I have little ones in my life. Just thinking about a creep like him even THINKING of doing something like whatchu implied to any child- well, I couldn’t hold my anger in anymore at that point.”

“I see, so it was your civic service, so to speak,” Harry said, amusement twinkling in his eyes. “Protecting a child who knows not what this world can be like.”

Lee sighed. “More like, protecting those who can’t protect themselves, yeah?”

The twinkle of the spy’s eyes increased.

“Da! Can I go play with Jamal? Please!” Mini-Him yelled across the garden, startling Eggsy away from the conversation he was having.

“WHAT’D I TELL YOU ‘BOUT YELLIN’ ‘CROSS THE GARDEN!” Eggsy hollered back, realizing belatedly that he was doing exactly what his father did.

Mini-Him shrank back a bit before vaulting over to him, bending in and whispering his question again. Eggsy stared at Mini-Him. This kid’s cheek! “I-!”

“Hello,” Harry greeted suddenly, dropping to a knee and smiling at Mini-Him with the kindest fucking eyes Eggsy’d ever seen. “And what’s your name, young man?”

Mini-Him looked up at Eggsy, silent and questioning. “Yeah, alright, go on,” he relented. Mini-Him beamed and jumped over to stand in front of Harry, holding out his little hand to shake.

“ ‘m Eggsy! What’s your name, mister?”

“It’s a pleasure, Eggsy. My name is Harry Hart,” the spy replied all suave and shit.

“ ‘arry... Haw-t. Hot?”

_Close enough_ , Eggsy snorted to himself. “It’s _Hart_ , you silly thing,” Eggsy chuckled, ruffling Mini-Him’s hair. “Now go play with your friend while Da and Mr. Hart talk. Go on then. Bugger off.”

“Okay! G’bye, Mister Hot!” his mini-self waved.

“It was nice meeting you, Eggsy,” Harry said standing, mouth slightly curled along the edges. And apparently that’s what Harry looked like when secretly enchanted.

With that they were left alone again. That was when he caught sight of the look Harry was giving him, a soft, intrigued thing that Eggsy now knew was pride and expectation. But something was nagging at the back of his mind, and he couldn’t help but ask, suspicion lacing his tone, “Alright, you knew my surname and you’ve found out where I live. My turn to ask the questions: How?”

“Couldn’t I have just followed you,” Harry asked tilting his head just so, falling so easily into playing that game he always did when intrigued; he wanted to know just how clever the younger man was.

Eggsy shrugged as he started walking forward, no particular destination in mind, and falling back into that dazed feeling that seemed to be the signal for his father’s memories and actions to take control. It was like being pushed druggedly from his body to sit back in a theatre and watch all the happenings going on via the big screen but unable to interact with the main characters, only allowed to feel and guess.

Harry followed Eggsy’s father leisurely.

“S’pose you could have just followed me, but I’m thinking that’d make you a stalker and I bet fancy types like you wouldn’t take kindly to being called such.”

Harry’s mouth quirked only slightly, an unseen expression if you hadn’t studied his face to the extent Eggsy had; he was amused.

“Unless that’s what your profession requires o’you.” Lee side eyed his captive audience.

Harry’s lips thinned, now en guarde, blinking once before his face was devoid of any tell; a spy’s most basic technique. But like Eggsy, he could tell his father also saw straight through that quick stint regardless.

“I’m thinking special forces, maybe the Royal Marines even,” Lee threw out a guess to keep the charade alive. “Thing is, you don’t look like either of ‘em post-discharge.” Lee pursed his lips in thought, squinting as a hundred and one different possibilities expanded throughout his mind. It was an eerie experience to feel the excitement flush into his dad’s system, the adrenaline making his mind work faster, sharper and far more on point than Eggsy had when he’d first met Harry Hart outside Holborn.

_My dad’s fucking amazing_ , Eggsy thought, feeling himself breathe out in awe.

Harry for his part took Lee’s deductions in stride, back straightening imperceptibly in his silent reply, as if almost daring Lee to continue at his own peril. _Take your best shot_ , Harry’s countenance suggested.

And apparently his father was up to meet that challenge, Lee feeling just as eager to color the bespoke wearing gent with surprise and take him down a peg or two.

“Alright then… What with them fancy threads, your knowledge of – at least - _Italian_ cut suits and what not,” Lee emphasized with sass, “never mind the fact that you hold yourself like some aristocrat-”At Harry’s inquiring eyebrow, Lee snorted. “Ya know them types, the ones that pop a stiffy barkin’ orders at army men only to piss themselves before scurrying away with their tails tucked between their legs when it comes to actually _serving_ the motherland.”

Harry’s lips pinched, an approximation of a man entirely on the cusp of giving up his carefully maintained mystique if only to bark out in laughter at that colorful opinion. Instead, he cleared his throat and relented a slight nod and the amusement that shown through his eyes.

Lee continued his assessment as he slowly circled around the man in a wide arc. “I’m supposing you could be a business man, barrister or what not, maybe even a privately working merc or hustler. Though don’t get me wrong bruv, but any of those don’t make sense when I consider all the other facts of yesterday.”

“Ya hold yourself and talk like a gentleman, and your fancy threads definitely help to reinforce that illusion. But the thing is ya don’t move like one, gov, and you sure as hell don’t analyze a potential threat – like back down Savile Row – like ex-military,” his voice said surely, the feelings evoked by his words solidifying as Lee categorized Hart’s barely-there reactions.

“Why would you think I’m not ex-military?”

“Like I said. You don’t move like one. Skills dull if not exercised regularly and vigorously. Ex-military dull when not on active, official duty; not even keeping up a regularly hard regime of exercises will keep them honed as if they were still in the field, ten years later. You might’ve been in the military, in fact I’d guess you were, but probably as a medic or somewhat.”

Harry’s expression opened up more. “And why would you think that, Mr. Unwin?”

“The scar beneath your chin,” he nodded at the older man. “Looks like you took care of it on the fly. Sloppy from the looks of it but the hand used _was trained;_ I’ll bet you was not only short on time but also lackin’ the proper instruments.”

“Extraordinary,” Harry murmured quietly that Eggsy didn’t think his dad caught it, barreling on as he did.

“To top it all off? I’ll bet it’s a rare thing for someone that’s ‘just a gentleman’ to operate cohesively in a team the way you did with your dang near doppelganger.”

“Pardon?”

“That other bloke you was working with in your sting. The baby-faced one scaling the buildings like he were fucking Spider-Man.”

A genuine smile broke over Harry’s face, one that actually had his father taking a tentative step back, his entire body stiffening as if ready to vault out of there at a moment’s notice.

“Mr. Unwin, I would like to offer you a proposal.”

 

* * *

 

_Chapter end._

**Author's Note:**

> I started this intending for hartwin to happen (not while Eggsy’s in Lee’s body, guys, ew! ha!). However, somehow it is just giving me feels to give to Eggsy through Lee’s body and splashes of Harry feels. @_@. Also this may or may not be the only thing posted. I have an idea how at least the beginning of Chapter 2 would go but it really depends on whether or not more of a filled out plot hits me. Please let me know what you think (and definitely send your thought bunny prayers). Thanks for reading!


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